Joyful June and introducing, Operation COMMANDO!!

Wow! I’m not too sure where June went!! Yes, I know it’s the 29^th still.  It seems like this year is just whizzing by!  SO this month has been pretty crazy!  Lots of ups and lots of downs.  For those of you who do not know me, I am at University studying to be a Primary school teacher.  I finished my third year prac which I LOVED!  I had such an amazing time in the classroom teaching the kids but I also learned a lot from them.  This wasn’t simply what we are supposed to learn on prac…curriculum, assessment, testing, crowd control, problem solving, building relationships etc.  No, I realised how happy and carefree young kids can and should be.  I realised (well, remembered) that happiness is the most important thing in life.  Yes, education/a roof/food/control (in my case!) etc… are all important, but at the end of the day, unless you are happy, you can not appreciate what you have.  I realised this one lunchtime I was simply watching and listening to the kids play.  The brilliant sound of laughter and happiness filled me with happiness.  Now this is something I already have learned, but sometimes we can get so caught up in out own problems and worries that we can forget to just be happy – it was a lovely reminder to myself that no matter what I’m going through I need to be grateful for what I have and just be happy.

So I finished prac and realised, that OMG! I SURVIVED THE SEMESTER!!  I throughout the semester, between my part time job and full time uni I have been working full six day weeks which doesn’t allow much time once I factor in training, a social life and uni work.  So I was ecstatic when I realised that I had survived this horrendous semester and that uni break is now here!  I am taking the opportunity now to rest, reset myself some goals and work on me.  My nutrition and training didn’t necessarily ‘suffer’ overall this semester, but I did go though periods where it was definitely not ideal!  Think…lollies, chocolate, cakes, portion distortion, coffees, missed training sessions…and all the other rubbish that comes with stress!  But hey, I’m only human and I am thankful that I did manage to stay pretty much on track.

My assignment board from semester 1...I SURVIVED IT!!

So what else have I been up to lately?  So if you have met me, you’ll probably know that I have a thing for the ‘Commando’.  For my 21^st birthday last year, my friends stuck his photo inside my card!!  Yep!  He is amazing.  So I decided to reward myself, for holding it together pretty well this year (it’s been rough).  I enrolled in a three day training camp lead by Commando up in the Gold Coast.  Permit me to scream… I AM SO, SO, SO EXCITED!!  I convinced a mate it would be a great experience and she will be coming with me.  So we have paid for flights and the camp!!  I will likely die at the hands of Commando, but hey, if I do, I will definitely be dying happy!!  So, now…I have my new goal (I have been without one for awhile, just kinda floundering and training because I JFDI).

OPERATION COMMANDO!!  I have been at my goal weight for a while now.  I also have a little more fat to lose.  I want to improve myself in all areas of my life… so my new goals under OPERATION COMMANDO are:

1.     Lose the last 5 kilos to be comfortable in a bikini on the Gold Coast

2.     Improve my muscle definition

3.     Increase the weights I currently lift in all areas

4.     Consciously work on being happy and relaxed in my mind everyday, this means being kind to myself – because if you have a healthy mindset, your body will follow…

5.     Survive training with the ‘Commando’

This was inside my 21st birthday card last year!

It's up on my wall now...Operation Commando!  I will be ready to train come November!

So from now until Novemeber, I want to become even better than I am now.  I want to be kinder to myself and a more relaxed and happier person.  I also want to increase my fitness and strength and when November rolls around, I will not have any regrets!

And, just some other random moments from the month of June…

But first, let me take a selfie ;) 

Just saying'... I love my new One Active top!!

                                              Mmmmmm! This chicken noodle soup I made last week was incredible!! 

I felt beautiful at my cousins wedding, in the dress I had agonised over buying! I can now go shopping and buy gorgeous, designer clothes off the rack! 

YUM! Zucchini slice...reminds me of my childhood =) It tastes great and freezes well too!

Liz Xox

To love yourself, you must accept yourself

This is a life lesson I have learned over the past couple of years.  It is a valuable one, which every one should learn.  Everyone has the right to love and be loved, but it is surprising how many people do not love themselves.  I’ve been there.  Trust me, loving yourself everyday is so much more enjoyable than hating who you are, what you see in the mirror, that past or current life of yours you try to bury but really you can’t because it’s eating you alive.  So when you are in this dark place of hating who you are, where do you go?  How do you even start?  What can you possibly do to learn how to love yourself?

Acceptance.  Here is the first step.  You must learn to accept yourself.  No, not the person you wish you were, but the true you.  Acknowledge the things that you do not like and that cannot be changed.  These are the features and or qualities you must learn to love.  It is healthier to accept the things that cannot be changed rather than resist them.  Being different and unique makes us who we are.  I used to wish I could look like a stick thin, six-foot tall run way model.  Reality, NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!  I am short but I have learned to hold myself tall and proud.  I used to get bullied for my skin colour, those words of malice stayed in my mind and I learned to hate my colour.  Years later I have learned to love it and hey, I can wear any colour I like!  Embrace your age; you have lived rich experiences throughout your years.  Cherish the memories.  Love your laugh, it means that you are happy.  Your eyes portray to others your warmth, love and happiness, accept the shape and colour they are.  Your nose, you may hate it but someone out there thinks it makes you look beautiful.  Believe in your ability to sing/create/run/jump/fly…what ever it is you love to do, you are good at it and it brings you joy. 

On the flip side I used to hate being the ‘fat’ girl.  This was something I could control; I did not have to resign myself to being this way forever.  I took control and I changed something about myself that I could.  You can change the way you relate to people, you can teach yourself to be more caring.  You can learn to control your outbursts of rage, anger and frustration.  If you’re not happy with your weight, do something about it.  If you hate the way you push people away, recognise why and change. 

Unrealistic expectations set us back from achieving any change.  Have a think.  What do you dislike about yourself?  Write a list.  Now sort this list into two, ‘things about myself I need to accept’ and ‘things about myself I would like to change’.  What is reasonable?  What is achievable?  Remember you have got to be positive.  Positive self-talk is crucial to accepting who you are.

Now write down five things that you love about yourself.  Stick this on your mirror, it should be the first thing you see in the morning and the last thing you see before you go to bed.

The serenity prayer composed by Reinhold Niebuhr, has been around for decades and has been adopted by AA groups and other twelve step programs globally.  I first heard it on the television show ‘Desperate Housewives’ and found it rather comforting.  This one line made me realise that I cannot control everything about myself or generally in life.  I learned to focus on what I could and to control the controllable.  So here it is, read it slowly and let it sink in. 

Give me the grace to accept with serenity, the things that cannot be changed, the courage to change the things that should be changed and the wisdom to distinguish the difference.

Liz Xox

If you care about what other people think, you will always be their prisoner

If you care about what other people think, you will always be their prisoner.  Too true.  It took me years to figure this out.  I spent countless hours, days, weeks and years trying to impress the wrong people.  I always cared about what the “cool kids” thought about me.  I always wondered if they liked me.  I tried my best to be like them.  I wasn’t being true to myself; peer pressure is a funny thing.  I used to live my life as a prisoner, a prisoner in my own mind because I never thought I compared to anyone else.  There was always someone 'skinnier', even 'fatter', someone better at art, better at sports, a better friend, a better student, more popular...I mean the list goes on.  It's a bit of a fact of life, there will always be someone better at you than something, I realised I had to stop these destructive thoughts and be the best person I could be.

When I started to focus on myself, I realised this was no way to live.  I could no longer spend my life, trying to impress other people.  It was time to look after myself and be the best me I could be.  I started taking time out for myself and started to nourish my body as it deserved.  I became happier and my energy returned.  My days were no longer tiring and endless, rather fulfilling and rewarding.  I did not care anymore.  Why? I stopped trying to be like everyone else.  I slowly learned to stand for myself, to be an independent woman, to make my own decisions based on my health and well being, nobody else’s. So I started to realise what ‘truly happy’ felt like.

You have to try.  You have to want it.  You have to be willing to work at it during every minute of everyday.  You have to love yourself, but more importantly you must respect yourself enough to not let yourself become a prisoner to others.  Simply refuse.  It is time to make a stand for yourself, show the world who YOU truly are.  Stop caring what other people think, and just BE HAPPY!

Liz Xox

And suddenly I realised...

When this is your view. You're upset, tired, stressed, basically just fed up and have had it. You've had your melt down, you've cried your heart out. You're alone. What happens next? What do you do? 


My head cleared, ok. I just have to emotionally survive. I've spent my life putting up emotional barriers. This is becoming clear to me. When ever I have been emotionally hurt, I've immediately shut myself down, I deal on my own, or maybe I don't deal with anything? I just bury. I'm good at burying my emotions. Maybe I thought that I could protect myself? Maybe I thought that all I had to do was not get attached to anyone so they couldn't hurt me? This is starting to become quite clear to me. I don't really trust people. I find it super hard to trust people. It takes a long time for me to consider someone a friend. People have a habit of leaving or letting you down. This is my experience. 


So I've had "issues" or "stuff" going on...(don't we all?)  I've pretty much kept the most of it all bottled up. Because hey that's what I've always done. I've spent my life being very independent. I have always been very organised and punctual. I have created a life for myself that allows minimal emotional communication. Subconsciously I've thought that showing emotion was weak. 

This has only just dawned on me. I have only just realised that I've made myself so self sufficient that I haven't allowed myself to experience love. Now when I say this I don't mean that I don't love my friends or family. I do, but not in a way that I could ever pour out my soul to them. So this moment of clarity has taught me that I need to let go of some of this control and start to bring down some barriers. I have definitely brought some down in the past year on my journey to change myself. Every kilo I shed taught me a lesson about self respect and self love. I've learned to love myself. It's now time for me to learn to love and trust others.  

So I decide it is time to head home.  What comes on the radio? Lean on me - Bill Withers.  Yep, maybe, just maybe, sometimes I need to learn to swallow my pride and lean on someone else.

Liz Xox