Sometimes I just don't want to train...

Sometimes I don’t want to train.  Totally hard to believe I know… NOT!  As much as I’d like to believe otherwise and the way people make me feel sometimes, I’m not Wonder Woman.  I don’t make perfect nutrition and training every day, in fact, I’d be lucky to have perfect nutrition and training two or three times a week!  It’s about consistency and not blowing everything out of proportion.  Anyway, the training thing, yeah.  I used every excuse under the sun.  I’m tired, I didn’t sleep last night, I started work at 5am, I forgot my gym towel, I forgot my hair tie, I should listen to my body and get to bed early... I even asked a mate to give me an excuse not to go.  I mean seriously?! Clearly I was dreading it!  Urgh!  I have been a bit of an emotional mess this week, just all over the place, busy and stressed.  I’ve binged, and I’ve trained, I’ve been a total bitch and I’ve been scared and vulnerable, old troubles and new ones.  Regardless, even though I was in the foulest mood possible, I went to the gym with my hair down and no towel.  It was by no means a gut buster of a session, in fact it was downright LAME by my personal standards!  But I went and did an hour of light cardio and stretch – 445 calories burned.  And guess what?  I came out feeling a lot happier and calmer and just generally really good about myself.  Exercise definitely is the best stress reliever going around!  Moral of the story?  The only workout you’ll regret is the one that never happened! 

Liz Xox

After the training session...

Today I am grateful for...

Today I woke up grateful.  Every day I try to notice the things that make me happy, that make my life a little easier than it could otherwise be.  

Today I am thankful for: 

Having time to nap...on clean sheets too!

Having immediate access to fresh, clean water to keep me hydrated

Having wonderful friends

Having fresh, clean, whole foods to nourish my body with

DOMS - it is a good pain that means I am getting stronger

An easy and safe flight home

The opportunity to spend the weekend with my 12WBT family

Happiness and laughter and the memories they create

Liz Xox

I am free.

I've seen this image pop up on my feeds a few times lately and for the life of me i can't find a title or artist.  However for me it is an extremely powerful image with so much background both both the top and bottom woman.  The top woman is freeing herself...

Do I feel free?  I got asked this the other day and quite frankly, yes.  Yes I do, most of the time anyway.  It made me really think about my life and the choices I make.  But first, what even is “free?”  According to good old Google, “free” means being able to act or be done as one wishes, not under the control of another”.  I am extremely fortunate and grateful to live in Australia and to be able to live a “free” life.  However, there is literally being free and living in a free country, and then there is being free from your mind, the pressures of others and those of contemporary society.  For so many people, myself at times included, your mind and body can feel like a prison, they control you.  You can feel those caged ghosts screaming inside, rattling around, trying to get out, but you don’t know how to release them, to “free” them.

I used to feel trapped, stuck and generally like I was living in a prison that was my mind and body.  I knew I needed to change this around, not only for my physical health, but also for my mental health.  First I had to decide what I wanted.  I wanted to feel free.   Wanted to be free from the fat.  I wanted to be happy, and at the time “skinny”.  Yes, while I no longer believe that “skinny” is a measurable or even healthy goal to have, that was what my 100kg self wanted.  She thought that if she was “skinny” all her demons would magically disappear, the judgment would disappear.  It took me awhile to realise that this wasn’t going to be the case.  For that to happen, I had to free myself… free my mind and my body from the dark cloud of negativity and hatred that clouded my life.  Exercising and eating to nourish my body helped to clear my head and put me in the right frame of mind to deal with my demons.  I’m not gonna lie, IT WAS HARD! 

Every time I went to criticise myself, I consciously had to stop, and flip it.  This was incredibly difficult in the beginning because I didn’t feel worthy of a compliment.  If other people complimented me I would convince myself that they were just being polite, and I sure as hell never complimented myself.  But I did it anyway, I was consistent and persisted with it.  With time, I was able to build myself up, and I learned not to care about what other people thought about me, good or bad.  I hated the way I looked and felt like my body was a prison determining what I could and could not wear, how I would and would not feel.  It messed with my head.  I wanted to overcome this hatred.  So my action was simple, every day I would look at myself in the mirror.  At first that was terrifying enough.  Once I got used to looking in the mirror, and looking myself in the eyes.  I started to compliment myself, all the things other people told me, that I had never believed.  And at first I didn’t believe myself, but I persisted and did this every day.  I soon started to believe that I was beautiful, that I did have skin that glowed and gorgeous silky hair.  Overtime I started to believe that my smile could light up a room.  Slowly, with time I started to feel free.  I started to feel happier with myself and with my body. 

I am learning not to buy into the pressures of everyday life and those of society, although this is easier said than done.  I also think that these pressures are unavoidable for everyone, unless of course you’re willing to go and live alone on a deserted island in some random location.  So instead of avoiding these pressures, we have to learn to cope with them.  I know what I want from life, and I have put into action what I need to do to achieve those goals.  So whilst I complain that I am totally buggered, stressed and pull long days, I know that these are the pay offs for me achieving my goals.  I know that if I want to graduate from Uni, I need to put in the hard work to study, now.  I know that if I want to be strong and healthy, that I need to nourish my body and train, now.  I know that if I want to support myself to live a comfortable life, I need to work, now, not tomorrow.  Yep, it might be tough and there will be times I get frustrated and totally over it, but this is what I have chosen to do.  I have chosen to pursue my dreams.  And at the end of the day, this is what being “free” is, being able to choose what ever it is you want to do without being told otherwise.

Liz Xox

Food! Glorious Food!

Hi guys!

For those of you who follow me on Instagram, or even follow me through this blog, you’ll know that I LOVE MY FOOD!! I always have, and always will.  Losing weight has taught me some very valuable lessons about my relationship with food.  What I have learned is that I need to eat to fuel my body, not my emotions.  The best fuel for your body is the clean, healthy and nutritious stuff…  that is why I eat clean, whole foods.  This does not mean that my food is bland and boring, quite the opposite!  I believe that food should be delicious and exciting.  It should engage your senses and leave you feeling satisfied. 

So, you’ve asked, and now I’m delivering… Here are some of the recipes I have created.  I love to cook, so if you choose to make them, do me a favour and cook them with love and laughter, but most importantly, ENJOY THEM!  

Liz Xox

Blueberry Choc Chip Muffins                                          Blueberry Blast Smoothie

Breakfast

Brekky Fruit Trifle

Almond and Raspberry Breakfast Oats

Lunch

Extra Special Bruschetta

Dinner

Smoothies

Sunrise

Mango

Blueberry Blast

Watermelon and Raspberry

Sweet Treats

Healthy Chocolate Brownies

Blueberry Choc Chip Muffins

At the core of busy... is me

So… This semester the Uni break is a couple of weeks later than normal.  So someone who doesn’t work or works minimal hours on the side of uni, this might not be a big deal… or maybe it is?  I don’t know, because I am not that person… But for someone who works full time whilst studying full time and holds out for semester break, simply to gain a few extra hours of ‘down time’ a week, this is a big deal.  I’m ready for study break… And boy do I need one, basically so I can catch up!  Anyway, this is why I’m so exhausted every day and totally over it.  Trying to remain positive in all areas of life is hard when you are just totally burnt out.  But it is possible.  My theory: look after yourself.  Yep, life is stressful and there is a lot going on for me at the moment.  But at the core of everything that is happening, is me.  I am realizing that I need to look after me.  My mindset, my nutrition, my health, my wellbeing… this is all my responsibility.  The better I look after myself, the better student, employee, friend, sister and daughter I can be.  Sometimes it is hard for me to put off that reading for an extra hour of sleep, I know I need to do it to complete that assignment, but sometimes it is simply necessary to get that extra hour of sleep so that I wake up fresh the next morning.  It is all about the pay offs versus the costs.  What I want, what I want to achieve and achieving that, comes with a cost.  Sometimes to achieve your goals, something else has to give.  This is called life, and the more life experience I gain, the more I realise that you can’t have everything and that everything will never simply be handed to you.  I believe that life should be about happiness and enjoyment, but to achieve this you have to work your butt off at times to obtain the rewards that bring you joy.

Liz Xox

What I have learned from my travels

The past couple of weeks I have found myself talking a lot about travel.  Places I have been and places I would like to visit.  That final night in Rome, wandering around the city with a bottle of wine with wonderful friends who come from all over the globe.  There was the time I got extremely excited to see the work of Gaudi, that all I could do was grin and run toward it.  There was also the time in Buenos Aires I had a mother, holding her baby and begging at my feet.  Travel brings about a whole string of emotions.  However remembering and planning travel, fills me with a comforting warmth, the wonderful memories and exotic locations around the world.  It makes me happy.  Travel makes me happy.  It has also taught me a lot about life.  Travel has helped me grow up to appreciate my life and everything I have.  This is what I have learned about life, from my travels:

1.     To appreciate what I have.  There are so many people in the world who simply are not as fortunate as I am.  Who haven’t had and will never have the opportunities I have.  I am grateful for my life.

2.     To follow my heart.  If I have a dream, I will go out and get it. 

3.     That adventure and play time is important in everyday life.  Finding spontaneous bursts of joy is important to keep life interesting.

4.     To live for the moment but plan for the future.  I make every second count.  Today needs to be embraced but I’m careful to spend my money on moments rather than things.

5.     To open up.  Rich experiences and endless hours of adventure and exploring makes for easy and meaningful conversation.

6.     To see the beauty in small things.  Stopping to smell the roses, appreciate the sunshine or stare up into the clouds.  It is the little things that make life big.

7.     To live drama free.  Travel has taught me to calm down and not sweat the small stuff.  There are so many more important things happening in the world and to see and do, things that can only enrich your life and knowledge.

8.     Finally, I have learned to travel at every opportunity.  Because there are so many new things to discover and people to meet that you simply can’t experience this in your own backyard.

Liz Xox

2012 - Canyon Swing - Queenstown, New Zealand

2013 - Got caught in the rain - London, England

2013 - Taking time out to admire the view - Sorrento, Italy

2007 - Appreciating the beauty - Iguazu Falls, Argentina

2013 - Totally amazed by the Sagrada Familia - Barcelona, Spain

2007 - Soaking up the culture - Buenos Aires, Argentina

2013 - Totally excited by the Running of the Bulls - Pamplona, Spain

Seriously! WHY?!

Control.  In the past I always felt the need to control everything.  I couldn’t and I didn’t, but I tried.  I have learned to let go and control the controllable and let the rest take care of itself.  Even though I am much more relaxed and generally happy to go with the flow in life, it is now that people THINK I have everything under control.  I certainly don’t!  But I mean, really… does anyone have everything ‘under control’?  I don’t think so.  Unfortunately life doesn’t come with a manual and if for some magical reason you did have everything totally under control, I would have to assume that you are some kind of magical super human.

Anyway, I still can’t help but wonder why people think I have everything in my life under control?  Is it the way I carry myself and talk about myself?  The fact that I manage to balance things out and attend to each aspect of my life be that work, uni, gym, travel, friends, family?  Is it my newfound confidence and independence?  I don’t know, I can only really assume so.  It confuses me!  People confuse me.  Relationships confuse me.  Uni confuses me, and work confuses me.  Sometimes I go through the course of my day, get home, collapse and wonder why I work so hard?  Like seriously, WHY?  Sometimes I feel like everything on paper looks perfect, the perfect life.  But when it comes to reality, I am running around like a crazy person obsessed with… well…everything!  I get: “how do you do it?” “You’re so good!” “You need to take a brake!”  “Do you even breathe?”  A lot of the time the answer is simply, I don’t know, then I think about it and realise that I simply do JFDI!  I have high aspirations and want a lot out of life so I am willing to work my butt off for them.  It just so happens that like everyone else out there, I am running around trying to find the meaning of life.  What even is that?  I mean, why doesn’t life come with a manual?  Should it?  Would that make life boring?  I think it would, it would take away our individuality… we wouldn’t have to opportunities to learn from experience.

This post is a probably a bit hard to follow and confusing to read and I feel for you if you are persisting through the crazy jumbled up words that represent the mess and confusion in my head at the moment.  I know that I am on the right path and I know what I want in life.  I know that to achieve these things I have to work bloody hard!  That is why I do what I do, to set myself up in life, to achieve what I want to achieve.  Because there is no greater feeling than reaching your goals, that’s why!

Liz Xox