A shift in mindset

Ok, so I have not posted for a few weeks now.  Slack I know… It’s not that I haven’t wanted to, or I had forgotten to… I’ve just been super busy!  In the last few weeks I have really marvelled at my mindset and how much different it is.  Like… it’s crazy!!  I am a completely different person to the one I was two years, even eighteen months ago!

I used to HATE change.  Like I really feared it, it used to leave me paralysed with fear of the unknown.  Recently I have been thinking about the change I have made in my life over the past year and a half.  Not just the physical changes but also the mental ones.  I feel like I am a completely different person to the one I once was.  I am super proud of my physical transformation, but even more so of my emotional one.  The biggest change is within me.  I used to get angry very easily.  I was always tired and could be very emotional.  I am now a lot calmer, happier, easy going, relaxed and I am learning to live the life I love and deserve.

A couple of weeks ago I went to Melbourne to catch up with family and friends.  I got to spend some quality time with one of my older cousins who I haven’t seen in a long time.  She was totally blown away with my transformation and how far I have come within myself.  I used to be very self-destructive in the way that I spoke to myself.  I managed to twist every word said to, or about me into the worst possible scenario and I was convinced that I was worthless.  Because of this I was very quiet and tried to avoid talking to people… I hated having the attention on myself, I just wanted to fade into the background and not be noticed.  I thought that because I disgusted myself, that everyone else found me disgusting.  Hearing my cousin say this to me meant the world and it led me to think about how much I have changed on the inside rather than just the outside.  I don’t often stop to think about and appreciate the huge mental changes I have made in my life.  I cannot believe how confident I am.  Like, I would never have had the confidence to publish my struggles, fears and triumphs for the world to read.  I would never have had the confidence to walk into a gym and workout.  I never allowed myself to simply… feel good.  That is the biggest change I have made.  Better than dropping four dress sizes.  I like the person I have become.  I am learning to love myself.

Every time I felt the need to criticise myself I catch myself and immediately flip it.  ‘You’re a fat worthless cow’ soon became, ‘you’re getting so strong’.  ‘Nobody would want to be friends with you’ became, ‘you’re such a good friend’.  A positive mindset is everything when it comes to positive change.  If you want it, work for it.  I decided that I had had enough of being the way I was.  Just like that I decided.  Nothing happened over night.  It took a lot of guts, determination and a lot of strength and will power, but I have succeeded in changing the way I think about myself and about my life.  I am not finished… we are never ‘finished’ changing ourselves.  We change all day, every day until the day we die.  Every day of my life, I commit to being the best version of myself.

Liz Xox

What else have I been up to lately?! 

                                                              I LOVE FLYING!! Jetting off to Melbz for the weekend!

                                       Hotel gyms tend to suck…but that doesn’t mean you can’t get a good workout! No excuses!

                                                                          Heading out for a night on the town!

                                                                                 Another transformation pic =)

                                                                               Climbed Mt. Lofty with my mate =)

Never forget to celebrate your small wins!

Imagine that you are standing at the bottom of a mountain you are planning to climb.  The initial task seems daunting, for some- too hard, you turn away… it goes into the too hard basket.  But what if you break it down into manageable chunks with achievable goals?  The task becomes just that.  Achievable.  Remember that you can have anything you want and that we are the product of our own choices.

So I put this to you.  What ever it is that you want, your goal… this doesn’t have to be weight loss like I am talking about, it could be saving for a house/holiday/car or working toward that dream job or promotion at work… what ever it is, break down that task into manageable chunks, each with it’s own end goal.  So what did I do, I thought thirty kilos… seriously?  That’s not possible.  So I broke down the number.  I wanted to lose five kilos.  When I reached that goal, I celebrated!  Those five kilos soon became ten kilos and I celebrated again.  Once I reached fifteen kilos I knew that I could do this, and I celebrated reaching that goal.  Each mini milestone brought me closer to achieving my BIG goal, which after nine months I did.  Yes, there were major celebrations for that one!!  Can you run faster than you could last week?  Are you wearing that gorgeous top you haven't worn in years?  Is there a fun run you never dreamed of entering, which you have now completed?  Do you smile when you look in the mirror rather than cringing?  Did you choose to eat a healthy meal rather than an unhealthy one?  Seriously, the list goes on and on!! 

So there it is, celebrate every single small win or mini-goal.  By doing so, you get to see that success is possible.  Success is motivating.  If you can achieve lots of small goals, what is stopping you from achieving a big one?

Liz Xox

Looking after Y.O.U!

How do you look after yourself?  Do you routinely put yourself first?  As number one, above anyone or anything else?  Does this to you, sound selfish?  What if I told you, that to take care of others, you must take care of yourself?  Would you believe me?  Think about it… If you let yourself go, emotionally and physically, would you be the best version of yourself?  Would this emotionally and or physically sick person be the person that YOUR loved ones deserve?  I don’t think so.  Think of yourself like a car, to function properly you must maintain it, run it, service it and fuel it with the good stuff.  What happens if you fill up a car with dirty fuel?  Enough of the crap and the car ‘gets sick’.  Just like us human beings. 

So what can you do to look after YOURSELF?  Here I go, think about my list.  These are things that you need to do to look after YOURSELF.  They are things that will help you to live a healthier and happier life.

1.     Spend time with the right people.  These are the people who love and appreciate you.  They go out of their way to look after you and encourage you to be the best person that you can be.  They embrace you unconditionally as the person you are and will support you on your journey to be the best that you can be.

2.     Stop running and face your problems.  If you are anything like myself, you have a natural tendency to run from things that scare you rather than face them head on.  You may think that these things define you as a person.  Wrong.  I have learned through many ups and downs in life that it isn’t these problems that define me.  It is the way that I have conducted myself when dealing with them and the lessons that they have taught me that define me as a person.  You choose.  Will you run?  Or is it time to be BRAVE?

3.     Make your own happiness a priority.  Your needs matter.  If you do not value, look after, and stand up for yourself, you aren’t really looking after yourself.  YOU deserve to be looked after, and YOU have the power to do this, it is your responsibility.  Remember that by looking after yourself, you can offer a better version of yourself to your loved ones.  It is possible to look after others as well as yourself at the same time.

4.     Embrace your individuality.  We are all different and that is what makes us special.  Trying to be or aspiring to be anyone else is a waste of time.   Embrace yourself for who you are.  Accept yourself.

5.     Stop.  Just for a moment every now and then.  We can get so caught up in our busy day-to-day lives that we forget to live.  Live in the present and appreciate what you have rather than focusing solely on what you do not have.  Life is for living and life is right now.  Appreciate it.

6.     Be kind to yourself.  Raise your hand if you have every said any of the following to yourself: you don’t deserve to be happy, you’re too fat/skinny/short/tall, nobody likes you, you’re a horrible person who doesn’t deserve friends, nobody loves you… the list of self sabotaging comments to oneself goes on and on but I’ll leave it there.  These mind games are not only NOT TRUE but by saying these things to yourself, you are slowly destroying yourself.  Sabotaging yourself.  Would you treat your mother like this?  No.  Your best friend? Nope, didn’t think so.  So why would you treat yourself in the same way?

7.     Be honest with yourself.  Enough with the lies, the stories… the justifications.  Get into the habit of telling yourself the truth.  However tough it may be to hear.

8.     Value the lessons your mistakes teach you.  Every mistake you make teaches you a lesson.  Focus on this rather than beating yourself up for the mistake that was made… I have turned my world upside down and become a totally new person by learning from my mistakes.

9.     Start forgiving yourself and others. We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and/or by others. The pain of these experiences hurts but is normal, however sometimes it lingers for too long. We relive the pain over and over and have a hard time letting go. Forgiveness is the cure. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.

10.  If you want something.  Go out and get it.  Make a plan of how you will get it, and make it happen!  Work for it.  If you don’t, you won’t achieve what ever it is that you want.  I know all too well what it is like to want something really, really badly.  You write it down super neatly in brand new markers, colour code it, illustrate it, laminate it and stick it on the wall and then cross your fingers and pray to God it will appear before you.  When it doesn’t appear you bag the whole idea and chuck it in the too hard basket claiming it just isn’t possible’… not for you anyway.  Life doesn’t work like this.  Sorry to burst any bubbles.  If you want something, YOU have to make it happen.

11.   People change.  Fact.  It sounds harsh but you cannot keep every friend you have ever made.  People move on and priorities change.  There will be people who forget about you and who you forget about.  Appreciate your friends but remember to be open to new people.  Who knows what that new girl at work could mean to you in a years time?

12.  Concentrate on the things you can control.  Not everything can always go to plan.  Sometimes things are just plain crap and you have to make the best out of a tough situation.  Look for the silver lining and control the controllable.  The rest has a way of figuring itself out.

13.  Compete against yourself and nobody else, they are not you.  They do not have the same strengths and weaknesses that you do.  Look in the mirror… that is your competition.  Aim to be a better version of yourself.

14.  Start creating your own happiness.  If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you’re missing out. Smile because you can. Choose happiness. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be happy with who you are now, and let your positivity inspire your journey into tomorrow. Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it.
15. Only YOU can control what goes into your mouth.  You decide if you are going to fuel your body with good, healthy and nutritious foods or highly processed and preserved junk foods...your call.

So this is a long and heavy list.  Reading through it sounds huge and confronting.  Too hard?  No it’s not… because YOU ARE WORTH IT.  But the answers are here (cryptically).  Only you have the answers to your life.  Choose one thing from the list and work hard at it, don’t give up.  If you fall down, just get back up.  Once you have achieved it, choose another.  Remember that nothing happens over night but looking after yourself is the most important thing because at the end of the day, only you can truly look after YOU.

YOUR life is YOUR responsibility

Liz Xox

For similar articles/lists, check out the following:
Life Buzz
The mind unleashed
Body and Soul - 8 steps to happiness
Mind, body, green

Joyful June and introducing, Operation COMMANDO!!

Wow! I’m not too sure where June went!! Yes, I know it’s the 29^th still.  It seems like this year is just whizzing by!  SO this month has been pretty crazy!  Lots of ups and lots of downs.  For those of you who do not know me, I am at University studying to be a Primary school teacher.  I finished my third year prac which I LOVED!  I had such an amazing time in the classroom teaching the kids but I also learned a lot from them.  This wasn’t simply what we are supposed to learn on prac…curriculum, assessment, testing, crowd control, problem solving, building relationships etc.  No, I realised how happy and carefree young kids can and should be.  I realised (well, remembered) that happiness is the most important thing in life.  Yes, education/a roof/food/control (in my case!) etc… are all important, but at the end of the day, unless you are happy, you can not appreciate what you have.  I realised this one lunchtime I was simply watching and listening to the kids play.  The brilliant sound of laughter and happiness filled me with happiness.  Now this is something I already have learned, but sometimes we can get so caught up in out own problems and worries that we can forget to just be happy – it was a lovely reminder to myself that no matter what I’m going through I need to be grateful for what I have and just be happy.

So I finished prac and realised, that OMG! I SURVIVED THE SEMESTER!!  I throughout the semester, between my part time job and full time uni I have been working full six day weeks which doesn’t allow much time once I factor in training, a social life and uni work.  So I was ecstatic when I realised that I had survived this horrendous semester and that uni break is now here!  I am taking the opportunity now to rest, reset myself some goals and work on me.  My nutrition and training didn’t necessarily ‘suffer’ overall this semester, but I did go though periods where it was definitely not ideal!  Think…lollies, chocolate, cakes, portion distortion, coffees, missed training sessions…and all the other rubbish that comes with stress!  But hey, I’m only human and I am thankful that I did manage to stay pretty much on track.

My assignment board from semester 1...I SURVIVED IT!!

So what else have I been up to lately?  So if you have met me, you’ll probably know that I have a thing for the ‘Commando’.  For my 21^st birthday last year, my friends stuck his photo inside my card!!  Yep!  He is amazing.  So I decided to reward myself, for holding it together pretty well this year (it’s been rough).  I enrolled in a three day training camp lead by Commando up in the Gold Coast.  Permit me to scream… I AM SO, SO, SO EXCITED!!  I convinced a mate it would be a great experience and she will be coming with me.  So we have paid for flights and the camp!!  I will likely die at the hands of Commando, but hey, if I do, I will definitely be dying happy!!  So, now…I have my new goal (I have been without one for awhile, just kinda floundering and training because I JFDI).

OPERATION COMMANDO!!  I have been at my goal weight for a while now.  I also have a little more fat to lose.  I want to improve myself in all areas of my life… so my new goals under OPERATION COMMANDO are:

1.     Lose the last 5 kilos to be comfortable in a bikini on the Gold Coast

2.     Improve my muscle definition

3.     Increase the weights I currently lift in all areas

4.     Consciously work on being happy and relaxed in my mind everyday, this means being kind to myself – because if you have a healthy mindset, your body will follow…

5.     Survive training with the ‘Commando’

This was inside my 21st birthday card last year!

It's up on my wall now...Operation Commando!  I will be ready to train come November!

So from now until Novemeber, I want to become even better than I am now.  I want to be kinder to myself and a more relaxed and happier person.  I also want to increase my fitness and strength and when November rolls around, I will not have any regrets!

And, just some other random moments from the month of June…

But first, let me take a selfie ;) 

Just saying'... I love my new One Active top!!

                                              Mmmmmm! This chicken noodle soup I made last week was incredible!! 

I felt beautiful at my cousins wedding, in the dress I had agonised over buying! I can now go shopping and buy gorgeous, designer clothes off the rack! 

YUM! Zucchini slice...reminds me of my childhood =) It tastes great and freezes well too!

Liz Xox

To love yourself, you must accept yourself

This is a life lesson I have learned over the past couple of years.  It is a valuable one, which every one should learn.  Everyone has the right to love and be loved, but it is surprising how many people do not love themselves.  I’ve been there.  Trust me, loving yourself everyday is so much more enjoyable than hating who you are, what you see in the mirror, that past or current life of yours you try to bury but really you can’t because it’s eating you alive.  So when you are in this dark place of hating who you are, where do you go?  How do you even start?  What can you possibly do to learn how to love yourself?

Acceptance.  Here is the first step.  You must learn to accept yourself.  No, not the person you wish you were, but the true you.  Acknowledge the things that you do not like and that cannot be changed.  These are the features and or qualities you must learn to love.  It is healthier to accept the things that cannot be changed rather than resist them.  Being different and unique makes us who we are.  I used to wish I could look like a stick thin, six-foot tall run way model.  Reality, NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!  I am short but I have learned to hold myself tall and proud.  I used to get bullied for my skin colour, those words of malice stayed in my mind and I learned to hate my colour.  Years later I have learned to love it and hey, I can wear any colour I like!  Embrace your age; you have lived rich experiences throughout your years.  Cherish the memories.  Love your laugh, it means that you are happy.  Your eyes portray to others your warmth, love and happiness, accept the shape and colour they are.  Your nose, you may hate it but someone out there thinks it makes you look beautiful.  Believe in your ability to sing/create/run/jump/fly…what ever it is you love to do, you are good at it and it brings you joy. 

On the flip side I used to hate being the ‘fat’ girl.  This was something I could control; I did not have to resign myself to being this way forever.  I took control and I changed something about myself that I could.  You can change the way you relate to people, you can teach yourself to be more caring.  You can learn to control your outbursts of rage, anger and frustration.  If you’re not happy with your weight, do something about it.  If you hate the way you push people away, recognise why and change. 

Unrealistic expectations set us back from achieving any change.  Have a think.  What do you dislike about yourself?  Write a list.  Now sort this list into two, ‘things about myself I need to accept’ and ‘things about myself I would like to change’.  What is reasonable?  What is achievable?  Remember you have got to be positive.  Positive self-talk is crucial to accepting who you are.

Now write down five things that you love about yourself.  Stick this on your mirror, it should be the first thing you see in the morning and the last thing you see before you go to bed.

The serenity prayer composed by Reinhold Niebuhr, has been around for decades and has been adopted by AA groups and other twelve step programs globally.  I first heard it on the television show ‘Desperate Housewives’ and found it rather comforting.  This one line made me realise that I cannot control everything about myself or generally in life.  I learned to focus on what I could and to control the controllable.  So here it is, read it slowly and let it sink in. 

Give me the grace to accept with serenity, the things that cannot be changed, the courage to change the things that should be changed and the wisdom to distinguish the difference.

Liz Xox

If you care about what other people think, you will always be their prisoner

If you care about what other people think, you will always be their prisoner.  Too true.  It took me years to figure this out.  I spent countless hours, days, weeks and years trying to impress the wrong people.  I always cared about what the “cool kids” thought about me.  I always wondered if they liked me.  I tried my best to be like them.  I wasn’t being true to myself; peer pressure is a funny thing.  I used to live my life as a prisoner, a prisoner in my own mind because I never thought I compared to anyone else.  There was always someone 'skinnier', even 'fatter', someone better at art, better at sports, a better friend, a better student, more popular...I mean the list goes on.  It's a bit of a fact of life, there will always be someone better at you than something, I realised I had to stop these destructive thoughts and be the best person I could be.

When I started to focus on myself, I realised this was no way to live.  I could no longer spend my life, trying to impress other people.  It was time to look after myself and be the best me I could be.  I started taking time out for myself and started to nourish my body as it deserved.  I became happier and my energy returned.  My days were no longer tiring and endless, rather fulfilling and rewarding.  I did not care anymore.  Why? I stopped trying to be like everyone else.  I slowly learned to stand for myself, to be an independent woman, to make my own decisions based on my health and well being, nobody else’s. So I started to realise what ‘truly happy’ felt like.

You have to try.  You have to want it.  You have to be willing to work at it during every minute of everyday.  You have to love yourself, but more importantly you must respect yourself enough to not let yourself become a prisoner to others.  Simply refuse.  It is time to make a stand for yourself, show the world who YOU truly are.  Stop caring what other people think, and just BE HAPPY!

Liz Xox

And suddenly I realised...

When this is your view. You're upset, tired, stressed, basically just fed up and have had it. You've had your melt down, you've cried your heart out. You're alone. What happens next? What do you do? 


My head cleared, ok. I just have to emotionally survive. I've spent my life putting up emotional barriers. This is becoming clear to me. When ever I have been emotionally hurt, I've immediately shut myself down, I deal on my own, or maybe I don't deal with anything? I just bury. I'm good at burying my emotions. Maybe I thought that I could protect myself? Maybe I thought that all I had to do was not get attached to anyone so they couldn't hurt me? This is starting to become quite clear to me. I don't really trust people. I find it super hard to trust people. It takes a long time for me to consider someone a friend. People have a habit of leaving or letting you down. This is my experience. 


So I've had "issues" or "stuff" going on...(don't we all?)  I've pretty much kept the most of it all bottled up. Because hey that's what I've always done. I've spent my life being very independent. I have always been very organised and punctual. I have created a life for myself that allows minimal emotional communication. Subconsciously I've thought that showing emotion was weak. 

This has only just dawned on me. I have only just realised that I've made myself so self sufficient that I haven't allowed myself to experience love. Now when I say this I don't mean that I don't love my friends or family. I do, but not in a way that I could ever pour out my soul to them. So this moment of clarity has taught me that I need to let go of some of this control and start to bring down some barriers. I have definitely brought some down in the past year on my journey to change myself. Every kilo I shed taught me a lesson about self respect and self love. I've learned to love myself. It's now time for me to learn to love and trust others.  

So I decide it is time to head home.  What comes on the radio? Lean on me - Bill Withers.  Yep, maybe, just maybe, sometimes I need to learn to swallow my pride and lean on someone else.

Liz Xox